Episode 61: How to Reclaim Your Sensual Self (Live)
How do you reclaim your sensuality? Ev’Yan and a few special guests answer this and other body-minded questions during a live event that happened a few weeks back called “Reclaim Your Sensual Self”. During this event Ev’Yan was in conversation with Brianne Patrice, Jimanekia Eborn, and Shadeen Francis, and they each speak about their unique and personal experiences of connecting to themselves, what sensuality means and looks like to them, and some practices you can use to reclaim your sensual self. They also answer a few questions from the audience—one about sensuality in relationships, the other about sensuality and chronic pain.
The full transcript of this episode is below.
Information on the guests in this episode:
Giveaway winners! Please contact Ev’Yan with your mailing address and she’ll send a copy of Sensual Self to you soon.
Transcription:
*Big thanks to Dame for sponsoring this episode. Use code EVYAN10 for 10% off your purchase!
Over here at Sensual Self, we talk a lot about sensuality, and one of the foundational pieces of connecting to our sensual selves is about prioritizing our pleasure. Sensuality is not just about sex, it's about coming home to our physical bodies. But when you choose to have sensuality and sexuality play together, it makes for some delicious and pleasurable experiences. And if you're looking to be inspired as you get in touch with your sensual and sexual self, Dame, our sponsor for this episode has got you covered.
Dame is your one-stop-shop for all things intimacy, with a product for everyone and every body. Explore your pleasure over at dameproducts.com and use my code EvYan10 for 10% off your first Dame purchase, and happy pleasuring!
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Hey, welcome to Sensual Self. I'm Ev'Yan Whitney. And this is a space for you to slow down, tune in, heal and feel the sensations and pleasures of your sensual body. Thank you for being here.
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Sensual Self. I hope you are feeling well and easeful in your body today. For me, I am coming off the heels of a very, very busy time doing book release things. I did workshops and interviews and even produced a digital event all since that last episode aired. And I'm feeling very full and grateful. And also a little tired about everything that's happened over these last two weeks. If you're new here, a couple of weeks ago, I released my very first book, also called Sensual Self. It's a self-guided journal that helps you connect to your body and sensuality with prompts and exercises guided by me. And if you have already gotten your copy, either for yourself or your loved ones, thank you so much. I really hope you are enjoying diving into the prompts and exercises. And I hope that you are you know, filling out sensuality with your own body. I would love to hear how that's going for you. You're welcome to send me a DM on Instagram or just you know, send me an email. But let me know how your journey of connecting to your sensual self through my book Sensual Self is going for you.
And I have a request. I would love it if you wrote a little review for sensual self on Amazon. Look, I know, Amazon is literally the biggest and perhaps deepest layer of purgatory. But also leaving reviews on that platform really helps me get my book into as many hands as possible. So please take a moment to leave a sweet little review on Amazon for Sensual Self. I would really really appreciate that it goes a long way. And speaking of reviews, I know you all thought I forgot, but I didn't. I'm about to pick a lucky reviewer as a winner right now. You might remember that a couple of episodes ago I mentioned that everyone who left a review for this podcast would be entered to win a copy of my book. And wow the reviews I got were so kind. Thank you all for the generous words you left me about myself my work this podcast. And also thank you for continuing to listen after all of these years and many transitions. I wish I could pick all of you but there can only be one. And that person is drumroll please. That's a bad drumroll anyway, solitarydaughter. Solitarydaughter, you have one a copy of my book. Sensual self. Yay. You know what? You know what? I want to give away one more? Um, let's see Ash864. Congratulations. You have also won a copy of my book since you will self thanks you both so much for leaving such sweet words for me and the podcast. And congratulations. Please email me with your mailing addresses and I will ship something out to you very soon. And of course, I will put my email in the show notes. And if you want to get a copy of your own, if you want to explore diving into your sensual self with me as your guide, you can find my book, Sensual Self, wherever you find books, with priority given to independent bookstores, if you are able.
Okay, let's get into today's episode. Today I am sharing a recording of the event I hosted last week called Reclaim Your Sensual Self. It was a conversation about sensuality, body connection, and pleasure with Shadeen Francis, Jimanekia Eborn, and Brianne Patrice. During this event, we talked all about our definitions of sensuality, how we are prioritizing our pleasure and no longer settling for mediocre sex, can I get an amen? How we are creating space for tuning into our bodies, and what it looks like to create time to be with our sensual selves in a world that discourages us from that. We shared a lot of ideas for practices to help you come into your sensual body. And we also answered some questions from folks about how to be in relationship with people who might not be in touch with their sensuality, and also a question about how to connect to your sensual body if you experience chronic pain.
It was such a great event. So so good, the conversation was chef's kiss perfect. And I also want to mention that because of the success of Reclaim Your Sensual Self, we were able to donate more than $300 to The Embodiment Institute, which is an organization that helps black folks come home to their bodies via somatic practices, and trauma healing. So yay for that. And a big shout out to our sponsors, Unbound Babes, and The Honey Pot Co. for helping us support TEI and for making reclaim your sensual self happen. The space we created was so nourishing, and I have a feeling that when you listen to this conversation, if you haven't already, it'll give you some sweetness and permission slips to be in your sensuality as well.
Before we get into it, I want to mention a couple of things. This event happened on Zoom. So the sound is very zoom, like, I'm sure you know what I mean. I hope it doesn't distract you from the goodness of this conversation. I don't think it will. But the perfectionistic Virgo that I am, I just want to mention it. Also, also, there will not be a sensual practice from me this week. Because, trust me, you are bound to get so many essential practices from myself and my guests during this discussion. So grab yourself a pen, a piece of paper, open the Notes app on your phone, and take some notes. Have fun exploring what we have cooked up for you.
And one more also, this is the last episode of Sensual Self in 2021. So while you're tuning in today, make sure to savor every moment of this episode with me Shadeen, Brianne and Jimanekia, which we will get into right now. Let me introduce you to everyone.
Jimanekia Eborn is a trauma specialist with a master's in health psychology. She is the founder of Tending the Garden, a supportive space for sexual assault survivors of different marginalized identities.
Shadeen Francis is a licensed marriage and family therapist, a Board Certified sex therapist, educator and author. Her specialties include demystifying pleasure building emotional intelligence, and the intersection between sexual wellness and social justice.
And then we have Brianne Patrice. She is the executive director of Sad Girls Club, a nonprofit dedicated to destigmatizing the conversation around mental health within the black and brown community. And she is also the founder of Twenty Nine Thirty, a restorative community connecting the dots between sensuality, sexuality, healing and wellness.
And of course, I will put links to all of these lovely people's work in the show notes. But for now, sit back, relax, and enjoy this discussion.
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Well, hello everybody and welcome to Reclaim Your Sensual Self. This is going to be a chat about sensuality, coming into your sensual body with some incredible guests and folks that I have the honor and privilege to share space with in this realm of education, facilitation and healing and liberation practices. Let's dive right in. Let's not waste any time, I would love to start this conversation with all of you, getting us all thinking about the definition of sensuality. In my work, and especially as I've been on this book tours slash workshop series, I I've heard from a lot of folks that there's a lot of conflation of sensuality, the sexuality. And so maybe we can start with you, Brianne. How do you identify or think about sensuality? Like what is your definition of it?
Brianne Patrice
For me, sensuality is really my relationship to my senses, my environments, and the information that it is giving me is really paying attention to, you know, what ignites my my sense of sight, my sense of sound, my sense of touch and feel, always forget one, but, um, there's all of those and how like, what information is registering in my body, if it's telling me that I like something, if it's telling me to maybe try something else, or replace it with something else. And then sexuality for me is really more so about like, my sexual experiences, how I sexually identify my sexual responses, sexual expression and things of that nature.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Thank you. Shadeen, do you want to add anything to the way that you see sensuality and or sexuality?
Shadeen Francis
Sure. Yeah, I really like what Brianne was saying, you know about this level of like engagement with the senses. I like to imagine that sexuality could be seen as maybe part of our sensuality, right. So if we imagine sensuality as like, broad that sensuality can absolutely exist as a part of the ways in which we are connected to our senses, and extending into maybe the sensory experiences of other people. But as a sort of shorthand, I think about the difference being maybe something along the lines of sexuality, being this experience of thinking about being turned on. So the things that wake your body up, bring you into it make you feel sort of alive, awake, charged, maybe in a particular way, and sensuality being this experience of maybe being turned in, you know, this idea of really tuning into your experiences your body, we have our five senses, and then also, I mean, I'm deeply nerdy, so I think of other senses like proprioception, so our sense of body in space, you know, and balance, I think about, nociception our experience of like pain and discomfort, and I really like the ability for us to imagine these as expansive and evolving.
Ev'Yan Whitney
I love that sensuality is about tuning in first and sexuality is about turning on. I love that. I love that. Thank you. What about you, Jim?
Jimanekia Eborn
I don't even know I'm even talking now. They done delivered! But I think when I'm when I'm thinking about sensuality, I really think about pleasure and enjoyment. For just me. The way that I like to talk about trauma and just bodies in general is like it's a whole circuit board. And I think like the sensuality part that I think is the fun and makes me giddy is like figuring out when should you fit? You know, it's inward like figuring out like, what little switches in our bodies allow us to even get to, like the sexuality. I think the sensuality for me is connected in ways that maybe sexuality isn't. I think it's also sensuality also gives yourself grace, like the grace to just be present and be happy, right? Like, yes, sex is cool. We love sexuality. Cool, cool, cool. But sensuality. I think it's patient. I think it's explorative. I think it's connective. I think there's so much room, but I also think sensuality isn't one thing, right. Like it continues to grow, and you it's like you might be into it one day and be like, this does nothing for me anymore. So it's it's just a playful growth space I think.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Mmm, playful growth space. I love that. I love listening to all of your definitions, understandings and experiences of sensuality, because they're really helping to land new definitions for myself. So I really appreciate you all for sharing. And I will say just because we've all gone down the line talking a little bit about what sensuality means to you. Everything that you said. And the way that I see sensuality is that it is the process of paying attention with your senses, and even paying attention beyond your senses. So I know that we all have five senses. But I feel like we have more than that. Because my own experience has been not that I just have five senses, but that I have multiple ones. And so not only am I curious about the tactile senses, the physical senses that I have, I'm also curious about like, my emotional body. And lately what I've been exploring, like my pleasure body, you know, what makes me feel good, both inside of a sexual context and outside of it. So that's a little bit about what I think about when it comes to sensuality. And I thank you all for, for setting the frame for us.
I want to talk a little bit about, you know, we're talking about sensuality, and how sensuality is about being in the body, it's about being connected to pleasure. It's about orienting yourself to the world around you, and being connected to what you want, when it comes to your body. So many of us are not able to access this space. And I mean, I think one of the reasons why we have conversations like this, or we have to have conversations like this is because a lot of us have been dissociated from our bodies, or we have had experiences that have made our bodies feel like they're not safe places for us to connect to. And so I would love to point this direction or point this question to all of you, but I'll start with you Jimanekia, like what are some reasons? And I'm sure you being the trauma queen will tell us but what are some reasons why we are disconnected from our sensual bodies?
Jimanekia Eborn
Where do we start? Right, like I think, I think there's a lot of unlearning, we have to do. Right that like what we are taught so many things, depending on how it how your body is right? Like if you were raised, traditional little girl, however society sees you, you were taught to possibly keep keep keep it quiet, like you are supposed to be subservient to other and we have to unlearn those things often. And I think trauma of course, and people always go, oh, well, sexual trauma, religious trauma, spiritual trauma, going to turning on Instagram trauma, right? Like there's always someone telling you that you should do it one way. And then this is this is the reason why I've tried to get away from just saying the word healing, because I think in our brain, we put it on like this pedestal. And so we're we try to do the thing the way other people are doing it, and we might get tired and be like, well I can't do it so maybe I'm not there. I think there's ways that we talk ourselves into things that aren't our fault. And then again, trauma of any time is hard. Right? I think even just acknowledging like that shit is hard. Even acknowledging that we've had traumas, I think distracts our brains like, well, maybe I don't deserve this. I think there's a lot of negative self talk. I think social media, I think outside world, I think the way that our families have raised us. Right, like, generational trauma is real. I'm still working my my two oldest children, as I call them are in their damn near 80s- My parents. So there's a lot of unlearning there. And I think, of course, I'll always go back to trauma, society makes it feel like this thing has happened to us. And we're sad and broken and we should stay in this sad, broken area. And we're like, no, we want to live and they're like no, no, be sad. You're like No, but I-- So I say all that to say there's a lot of unlearning that others have put upon us that maybe we have absorbed. And so we have to give ourselves permission, which looks many different ways. It's not just like, Okay, we're ready to live. You did it. Right. Like, it's a physical permission. It's patience. It's forgiveness. There's, there's so many levels, and I know we'll continue to go into it, but that's where I'll start with that because I know it's about to be magical when others open their mouth.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. Shadeen, I wonder what's top of mind for you as we are thinking about, like the things that keep us disconnected from our bodies, disconnected from our sensual selves. And I know trauma plays a huge role in it. And I just, yeah, I wonder if there's anything else you'd like to share with that?
Shadeen Francis
Yea, you know, I appreciate Jimanekia starting this off with an acknowledgement of like how much we have absorbed and picked up through the context of our relationships, particularly like our early life, relationships, family, and even people, we haven't had direct contact with the way stories, you know, messages, rules and limitations get passed down down the line, you know, through again, family and through culture. Maybe a piece that I would like to add in this conversation is acknowledging even just like what our bodies do in that space, you know, so I think of trauma as any experience that is overwhelming to the body, right. So any intense experience that is more than your body actually has capacity for can be experienced as a trauma. And so we've all we've all had those experiences, right? And Jimanekia, you know, was naming all the different places where we could encounter that, you know, from our religion and spirituality, from physical experiences, to emotional experiences. And the way our bodies respond to being overwhelmed first is just to make sure we survive. And sometimes that experience actually ends up leading to, you know, ways in which we may be sort of hold or cement around wounds, right, we are deeply self protective, we're wired first for survival, and then for connection, and it does kind of go in that order.
So if we are still holding on to wounds around some of our survival needs our unmet needs, our past experiences, it actually can act as a barrier for us to have some different kinds of connection. So for example, if you were in an intense experience, and your body went into hyper arousal, right, so fight or flight, things that make you really reactive, you might be a person then when you re encounter that space, where you're feeling really anxious, really panicked, really, maybe aggressive, maybe, you know, really avoidant, if your body goes into hyper arousal, that's hypo arousal so that's me so your body you know drops down right I'm very dissociative. If you leave me alone for a really long time. I'm not here, I'm very hard to bore because I'm, I have to work really hard to be in my body anyways. Right. So you know, if your body around your pain, you know, pulled you out of it, right pulled sort of your brain out of your body, so you don't get as hurt. Right, then when you're in an intense environment, you might find yourself again, dissociating, feeling numb, being forgetful, you know, being really lethargic. And so I know that's a lot to say, and to track in a short period of time. But these reactions come up and end up being a part of our healing journey as we're working towards connection, finding those places that move us out of presence and safety. Right, and finding ways to reconnect and so that's why I think sensuality can be so useful. Ev'Yan you named, you know, paying attention with your senses. And I think that's such a lovely way to frame what this sort of healing work can look like.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Really appreciate you Shadeen for bringing that up and just like talking about like the physiological aspects of like the way that trauma can show up for us. And I know for me when I first started doing these, like deeper dives into somatic work, and sensuality and trauma healing, I was a little bummed because I'm like, okay, but sensuality is supposed to be fun, like, I don't want to talk about trauma, I don't want to talk about like, my avoided behaviors, I don't want to talk about my anxiety. And so if there's anyone in the audience that is also feeling this work, it's like, um, yeah, but let's get to the good stuff. I just want to say that, you know, these these are like fundamental and foundational pieces of getting us into our bodies like, knowing where our bodies go, and why they go like knowing when and why our bodies dissociate or we disconnect from our bodies or knowing the things in our lives that get us out of our bodies, our pleasure, whatever is such important information for us to connect to. So that when we are on this path of sensual reclamation, we know okay, I got to create some boundaries around this or this is what my body feels like when it is experiencing some kind of a trigger. Here are the ways that I can soothe myself or come back home to my body or care for my body. So like, yeah, we're talking a lot about heavy stuff here. But it's so important in order for us to really, I don't want to say achieve but embody this sensuality that I think all of us are talking about here, which is not just in the fluff, but is a lifelong commitment to being in union with ourselves. Um, Brianne, I want to turn it over to you like what's coming up for you around-- And actually, if you don't mind, I would love to just like personalize this a little bit more like what are the things that take you out of your body? What are the things that maybe the habits or the experiences that you have that have like disassociated yourself from yourself?
Brianne Patrice
Oh, I don't know is left to say honestly. But for me, personally, I really thinking about my the start of my journey. I'm a mother of a 10 year old, I love her dearly. But um, my relationship to motherhood has been everything, but what I visualized it to be. And um, she like fell ill when she was like two and ended up having having a kidney transplant when she was like five. And in the spirit of all of that I went from like I was, I was college, I graduated college, I'd become a mother and I had become a fiancee in like, the span of maybe two years, and I had to figure out who I was. And I was still dealing with church trauma, and I was dealing with my own sexual trauma. And so I ended the engagement to her father and I moved here and I was I got to a point where I was like, I'm tired of my shit. Like, I need to, I need to figure out like, what it is that I actually want out of my life, because a lot of my experiences have come from what I felt like I should have been doing, because these are things that I was told I was supposed to be doing. And I'm a preacher's kid. So church was my life. And it got to the point where I was like, this isn't something that I really like, I don't really resonate with this, if you're telling me that, me having a sexual body, me having a body period is wrong. You telling me as my birth, my mother in specific that my body isn't really my body that I'm supposed to be preparing my body for motherhood, and preparing my body for marriage. But first, before you first have the conversation with me, and when I'm you know, 16, 15, 12, 11, 10, when I'm growing into my body, and I'm growing boobs, and I'm growing pubic hair, and I'm having all of these urges and these sensations, and I'm not really knowing what the fuck is going on, you're not giving me that information.
And so I had to really get to a place where I was like, what is it that I really-- what I really want? How do I really feel about my body, and, um, which Shadeen brought up survival mode that in particular is like, the foundation of my work personally, because in all of the things that I went through with my daughter, I was homeless, and I lost my job and like all of these things, and I was in a constant state of fight or flight for like, 10 years. And, you know, you don't really recognize it, because especially you being in the black community, we fight or flight survival mode has plagued our community for centuries. And we don't really have that awareness to it, because we're so used to live in it, that we just pass it off as something that's everyday we push through it. And I got to the point where I was like, I no longer wants to just push through something like as a black woman, we're constantly pushing through something, we're constantly being told, you know, pick better partners do better. And we're never telling people just to treat us better, we're saying protect black women, and then the protection never comes. So I have to protect myself.
And that comes into me figuring out what it is that my body needs. And figuring out what it is that you know is resonating with me figuring out the relationships that I want to have and do not want to have. I just recently, um, let go of somebody because we connected in like, two years ago, and I realized that my now heal self realized, Oh, that was a trauma bond and I had no reason being with you. And now that I'm on the other side of this, I can see how I've grown, and you want me to stay in a place that I was in. And now my body is telling me that I don't need to be in this anymore because now she's in danger because you're not honoring my boundaries. So it's having that awareness to sit here and say, and really listening to your body, our bodies know everything that we need. If we really take the time to sit down and listen to it. We live in such an urgent society where we're constantly on the go, and we don't take time to sit down and actually listen to what it is that our body has to say. And we sit down and listen to what it is our body has to say you can tell like if your knees is acting up your body is telling you like you might need to stretch or you know, maybe drink some water or maybe you need to get some weight off. That's been that's been my recent experience. My knees have been like shit lately. And it's because I'm the heaviest. I have been in all of my 34 years. And my body is like oh no, we need to get some of this off of us. So just really listening to the messages. So it's internal wisdom, our senses, our sensuality, is our body's internal wisdom. It is our personal GPS system, guiding us to what it is, that's gonna get us to be the people, the human, the women that we want to be. Today, tomorrow, next year, five years from now, we just need to sit down and listen.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Mmm, yes, yes, thank you so much for sharing all of that Brianne, and for also just giving us a glimpse of like, your journey, you know, of how you have come into this work, both professionally and, and personally. You know, you're talking a lot about awareness and, and bringing awareness into our body and into the ways that, you know, our bodies might be giving us those messages. How, how does that how do we do that? Like, how do we bring? How do we begin this journey of inner listening? And, yeah, Jimanekia, I would love to go to you to see like, what ideas you have for us, because it's one thing for us to be in this conversation and be like, Yeah, so like, your body has experienced trauma and fight or flight and lots of sensations. But like some of us are so disconnected from ourselves that we can't even identify or begin that process of awareness. So like, what are some tiny baby steps that we can take to get us paying attention to in listening to our body's messages more?
Jimanekia Eborn
Something that I want to say this before is when we're talking about like this sensation aspect. I know you know, this, I just got back from my second 10 day silent retreat. And that's what Vipassana is, is like this sensation and learning how to navigate the sensations in your body, which I have to do it like once, once a year, honey, I just go sit and, learn how to explore by like, sitting in silence listening. Like Brianne said, your body will tell you everything, right? What if we actually-- Oh, have a challenge for y'all— What if you actually sat down and said, What do I need? You be like, wait, what? Who said that? Me? Why? Because people don't ask us. Right? Like people are constantly telling us what we need. Shadeen, you should go do this, you should do this. Ev'Yan, Why are you doing it this way? You should do this. But what if you actually gave yourself that permission in that time to sit down to be like, What do I like? What do I need? And the ways that that can look, one of the things that I like to give to folks. Is like, Hey, you're allowed to like, date yourself a little bit. You're allowed to like, sit down and explore. And this is free. You can sit in your room right now and be like, hey, what do I like? What do I need? I don't know, which is also okay. So you can even start being like, I don't know what I need right now. And that's okay. You're giving yourself permission, which builds up for you being able to further explore things. So if I'm talking about like a self date, for me, that's just exploration.
And the small gift that I can give you self massage. Momma's got chronic pain, I go get deep massage work. But also I got tendinitis. You will see me just rubbing my hand and my wrist. We use our hands so much that people just don't even acknowledge it. But what if you sat down and said, Okay, let me just love them a little bit. Love different parts of your body? Right? Like, when's the last time you would like to touch my pinky toe? Let me see. See how it's doing down there. Right? Like we don't. Like giving yourself permission to just explore the little areas that we neglect. But also do so much for us. Your hands, your feet. Honey, the knees. Sometimes you just got to sit down and get you a little bit of oil because we're not ashy. Just a little bit of oil and just rub your body down a little bit. Right like that. For me. It's what we don't do enough because we're always moving society is also telling us we you should be doing this. Why are you not working? Are you sitting down? What you're not on nothing? You're not typing anything? But sitting and giving yourself that, What do I need? What do I want? Oh, wait, I've never even thought about that. And it was this. I was having a moment because mothers, I was having a moment with Cheryl the other day, yeah I named her. And I was like, Uh, we're not communicating right now. Like, I don't know what's going on. And I might need to leave but I was like, I think you're struggling with communicating what your needs are. And she stopped and looked at me was like, no one's ever asked me. She's 79 years old. No one has ever asked me what I needed. Because she also never asked herself what she needed. So my thing is like, get you some paper and just write down things you like. Write down things that make you happy. It could be big, it could be small. I like my water room temperature. Okay, I like the way it feels in my body when it's going down, that might be just a small sensation, that might be a gateway for you to really start exploring.
Ev'Yan Whitney
So rich, this is exactly why I had y'all on this panel, because you are giving me so much life. Jimanekia, I love what you're talking about here. And these practices that you have generously offered us, you know, it's like, I think sometimes we can think that awareness requires a lot of study and a lot of time and a lot of grueling, whatever. But what you're offering us right now is just like, give your body attention, and your body will speak to you. And one, one practice that I love to give my clients that is really, really simple, but very difficult to do is like lay flat on your back. And anybody can try this lay flat on your back, there's no music, there's nothing in your ears, lay flat on your back, put one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly, and just breathe. And if you'd like you can come with the question of like, what does my body need in this moment? Or what messages does my body want to give me or you could just be there. And just notice what comes up? Like it's not about being judgmental, or critical about whatever sensations or thoughts are coming up. Particularly the thoughts. You know, I know that as we're talking about this, we're talking about the body a lot. And I want to just like, make an aside, like the brain is a part of the body. You know, I think a lot of times we think that like, okay, in order for us to get into our body, we have to dissociate from our minds, like what does it look like to see the brain as a part of this experience, too. So if you are in this practice, and you're laying flat on your back, and your mind is going a mile a minute, you can just be like, cool, that is a sensation, that is an experience I'm having with my body and to not judge that. But just to honor that as part of your experience.
There's something else that you said that just like lit something up for me around how sensuality being in our bodies, the only way that we can establish this kind of awareness is by slowing the fuck down. Like there's no way that we can come into our sensual bodies, if we are like scrolling and typing and like picking things up and going like we have to slow down. And I think that's like one of the hardest parts, at least for my practice is like, I know this. And also, it's so hard to do. Because our culture tells us to constantly move faster, our culture tells us to be productive, we can't be laying on our bad feeling into our breath in our bellies, we got shit to do you know? And so yeah, I'm wondering Shadeen, Brianne, if anything is coming up for you around this, please, please feel free to share. But thank you, Jimanekia, for like opening that up for all of us.
Brianne Patrice
I want to say that by slowing down, we actually give ourselves more time, that has been my experience. And that, in me being intentional, and in really slowing down and listening and realizing like where I'm putting my time and energy into, I'm getting that time back. Because like, I see that I don't need to be spending time wasting like filling my brain with the TV 10 hours a day, or it's just whatever, and then wonder why I feel like shit at the end of the day, like really taking audit of where I am putting my time, instead of saying I don't have time to do the things that I want to do or that I know I should be doing. Auditig my time so then I can reassess and come back and be like, I can take you know a few hours away from whatever and give this to me. And now I am in a habit to where like the first four to five hours of my day. They are mine. I don't do any I don't do client work. I don't do like work work. It's mine. Fridays are my days on do anybody's work on Fridays, don't call me for nothing. And I realized I realized that I am also fortunate to be able to do that. And so even for people who you know work a nine to five, I used to work a nine to five so even me getting ready for morning and getting ready for my day in the morning, that was my time. If I am if I have to be at work at seven o'clock then I'm going to get up at 530 and I'm going to do what I need to do. I'm gonna listen to podcasts. I'm gonna brush my teeth. I'm gonna pay attention to how the water feels on my face. I love skincare so like that is my moment. And even if it's gifting yourself like something like that, and saying that I I want to start somewhere small. And so I'm going to start with my morning routine. I'm going to start with my bedtime routine. I'm going to start with a bath and figure out what kind of oils and scents and things of that nature make me feel good, make me feel present, make me feel, just whatever your goal is in you being in your body, and you may in your sensual body and understanding what it means to have these senses, then figure that out right now. I mean, I've never worn perfume and right now I can't go to bed without perfume because it's bringing me pleasure to do so. And so it's just really giving your time your your safe space to explore. And giving your thought yourself permission to explore a lot of us, you know, grew up taking a pleasure was a dirty word, because we immediately attached it to sex. And pleasure doesn't have to be attached to sex. Somedays, yes, I do like to sit in a bed and watch Netflix and that would bring me pleasure. In some days, I want to be outside with the wind busting me in my face. Like it doesn't matter. It makes me happy. So it's really just on what is making you happy. And understanding that you are allowed to have those things. And so it is really sitting here and honoring your right to that happiness and saying to yourself, like Jimanekia just said, like you just sit slowing down and figuring out what it is that you need.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Yes, and also what's coming up for me is like, you know, I get I hear this a lot from myself, and also from the folks that I work with, like, I don't have time, like, we have to make time, like we have to say, yes, like what you said, Brianne, like, the Fridays are my day, or the first four hours of my day, I'm not doing nothing, but what I need to do for me. And like, you know, it really depends on what your unique needs are. Maybe that's just like five minutes, five minutes in the beginning of the day and five minutes at the end of the day, but really carving out that time because it's so so important. Shadeen, what's coming up for you around this stuff?
Shadeen Francis
Yeah, earlier, you had asked, you know, around our personal experiences. And so, you know, my early life around trauma happened a lot around my body. And you know, the ways in which people's curiosities about my body, were way ahead of my own readiness to explore. And also happened a lot at the level of my spirit. So lots of ways in which, you know, being sort of silenced or reshaped or re guided or molded into sort of who you are meant to be, you know, a lot around like respectability, and goodness, and all of these sort of images of who other people want you to be, and then a lot around emotions. You know, and most of that was not was not around malice. But so much of my of my own healing has had to happen on those spaces. What is my relationship to body? What is my relationship to spirit and like sense of self? And then also like, how do I feel? How do I feel? Because there wasn't a lot of permission to feel a wide range of feelings. I'm a child and immigrants and for anyone else who, you know, has immigrant parents, especially, you know, where there has been a lot of pain in immigration, you know, you you sort of lose the opportunity to just grieve, right? Because we got it, we got to keep it moving. And we've sacrificed so much to be here, and we don't have time to sit around and cry. And so so much of my sensuality has been like in tears. Like, just getting to celebrate my body releasing because I've moved through the world holding so much.
And so, you know, just even my sense of interiority, my sense of emotional experience, my emotion body has been so much a part of my healing practice. So I know that the sort of larger narrative is like, you know, around this being like, a joyful, happy sort of exciting process, and it is that, but also for me, I mean, I love the fuck out of being angry. It feels so good for me to be angry. Because that wasn't a thing I was actually allowed to feel I didn't have permission to be angry and I didn't have permission to experience or recognize anger or communicate anger. And also I was like, little and these cheeks I've finally grown into them, but they have been this my entire lives with these big cheeks and these big ass pigtails. And so even when I was trying to communicate anger, nobody took me seriously because I was so fucking cute. So just being able to like have rage, and not care as much what other people's experience of that is, you know, to have sadness and not feel compelled to like wipe my tears for other people's comfort has mattered a lot for me and to being honest in my in my body, and a lot of that came from the point in time at which I decided I no longer had time for bad sex. There was a point in time at which I was like, this is a waste of my time, this is a waste of my time I have other things I could have been doing. Right and, and be able to realize like I because I'm giving up performance, and I'm giving up sort of appropriateness and I'm giving up sort of the presentation, and just deciding to be and be in tune with what I want and what I like and what I don't want and what I don't like and emoting that loudly or quietly or aggressively or softly, and just being truthful in that has carried over. I think a lot of this becomes transferable skills, and that it started in one particular place.
And then I started to notice the ways in which I was doing that in other spaces. And it made me I mean, one more honest, two more more aligned, but also three more intentional, I am very intentional, or try to be I'm intentional with my words, and I'm intentional with my contact, and I'm intentional in my relationships, and I'm intentional about how I use my time. So we all have the same amount of time and you can't make more time, I'm just very, I try to be very intentional about what that time gives me and what I give to that time. And so I have met and I'm working towards manifesting and creating a life where I'm essentially a cat, like, I want to be the sort of person who's here for good time and not a long time. I want to be able to just express my needs as I need them and not feel like I need to do a whole song and dance in order to be worthy of care and affection. I am very, very touchy, especially in my affectionate relationships. My how for myself as a person who learned to be safe by performing and people pleasing and high achieving, you know. Ev'Yan, you offered that exercise around the breath. And that connects so closely to the way in which I've had to been able to find my body where I literally have carved out in my home a sunspot, right a spot on the ground where the sun gets real sunny, and I don't put any furniture there. And that is literally my spot to lay in the sun, and breathe. And just feel that you know, and it's a very sensory process, right that, you know, for some of us, when we're in these sort of places, these survival modes, these protective places, we might not have access or opportunity to carve out some of the more layered or nuanced or creative things, we might not have a bathtub, we might not have disposable income, we might not have a lot of agency or spaciousness in our schedule. But to be able to do even this moment of just like taking a moment to feel what it feels like to have weather on your body, right like the sun or the moon, you know, because I will do this also at nighttime sunspots are also good for moon. And you know or the when you know being able to feel temperature is one of our sensory experiences. Our inter-receptors. So even being able to like feel what your body just feels like inside, you know, your blood pressure, your heart rate or your bladder, right being able to feel balance, you know, being able to hear or smell or touch or taste just just a little thing. And so that question for me is always like what feels good, right? Like what is pleasurable. And to take a moment, even a small moment to work towards that and to savor it. Right. The intentional holding of that moment, for me is such a deeply sensual experience and being able to practice that, you know, has been has been transformational for me.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Thank you. Thank you for all of that. When you said that you want to be a cat. I felt that in my soul, my body my spirit, my loins. Thank you and I see a lot of people are also saying the same like I want to be a cat. It's so true. It's so true. Um, you all have offered so many beautiful practices and permission slips for us. I wonder if there is anything else that is coming up for each of you around what it looks like to like make sensuality a practice. What are some practices that you would recommend for folks to get them in their bodies and, and practices in particular that are simple in the sense of like, it's free. Because I think one of the things that I thought about a lot around sensuality is that like, you know, everyone is always telling us to buy something in order for us to be sensual, or to consume something like you have to wear this lingerie or you have to buy this face cream or this perfume, which there are a lot of beautiful aspects to having external tools like that to bring us more into our bodies. But I'm really curious about like self sustaining sensuality. Yeah, what are some things that are, you know, are some good practices for us to get into our bodies?
Shadeen Francis
So especially in my work life move my role as a therapist, sex therapist, folks are often looking for, yeah, really like complicated interventions, especially around embodiment. And I will invite people first into their breath. And for folks who are more resistant, especially because of how much sort of like Western yoga culture has been pushed and pressured on folks, there's like, sort of new wave Capital Idea, right? You get the little outfit and the mat and you're thin and white with a swishy ponytail and you like, hike up the mountains. And you know, and that's great if that's you cool. But like, also, that's not all of us. And it's not available to all of us. It's very expensive. You know, so you know, that sometimes there's initial resistance or pushback. And so folks are thinking, I'm asking them to do like a complicated like, meditation retreat. And what does this have to do with the blah, blah, blah, blah, right. And so my first invitation for anyone who's feeling any of that resistance is like, first one, this is not that. You don't, you don't need the yoga pants unless you want them. Right. But just as a reminder, breathing is good for you. If nothing else that you take from everything I've said, you know, the breathing is good for you. Right for so many of us, again, we move through the world doing doing doing doing doing doing doing or not. Some of us are in a place around our survival where we're feeling really stuck, and nothing feels like it's moving. Right? If we feel entrenched, we feel like we're moving through molasses.
One of the ways that we can remind our bodies that we are here in the present, that we are bounded, I cannot promise you that you are safe, right, but that you are with you, is to breathe. Your body doesn't know that it's surviving your body does not know that it is okay if you are not breathing. Not breathing is a pretty alarming physiological experience. And so even if you were to tune into your breath, right now, you might notice like, oh, we were only doing like 20% on that inhale. Right? Are we were cheating on that exhale, right. And so to take a moment and just take a deep breath. And there are all sorts of breathing patterns that we could adopt, right? Like all of us have different lung capacities, different sort of things around health. So I'm not going to tell you what it's supposed to be like, I just want you to take some time to breathe. And so the invitation for how we might shift this is to create little touch points for yourself in your world, to take five to 10 good, intentional breaths. For some of you, you can set that as a timer on your phone, I use my phone as a wake up alarm. So we have a complicated relationship. And I turn off-- I swipe every notification without reading it at this point in my life. So that doesn't work for me. I have little physical spaces in my home. Right. So every time I pass this mirror, I take five good breaths, right, or every time someone says the word blank, or every time you get in your car, every time you're about to have a meal, right, but to tie it into the way you already live your life. So that intentional breathing, this moment of connection to your body, this moment of practicing your wellness can be actually a part of your lived experience. So that's that's what I want to offer you it was a really long winded explanation to just say breathe. But that that that is the invitation to take some good breaths to reconnect you to yourself.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Thank you, thank you so much. Jimanekia, what are some practices that help ground you into your body and your sensual self?
Jimanekia Eborn
The two key words that came up for me were permission and pressure. And I was like, how do you I'm like, Oh, I'm already putting pressure on myself to get ready to answer the question. I was like, You're gonna be fine. You don't have to. So like taking that pressure off yourself to just be. Like you're allowed to be wherever you are, and giving yourself permission that you got to start somewhere. So maybe just doing something small is okay. And then I say this, okay. Those that know me know Mama is a big wrestling fan and wrestling Twitter is wild. And you'll often see somebody say go touch the grass. So I say that to say, go outside. I love nature. I will take myself to the desert and say sorry, you don't exist world. I will go to the mountains. You don't exist. It's me time. Right? You can go outside and touch a tree. If it's winter, okay, maybe don't because I don't know how that works for you. I live in California. That sounds wild. But But nature, right? Like, that's free. We talked about free things. One of my favorite F words, free food and fuck. You go outside if you can. if not, maybe you can find a nursery, like where plants are not where the children are. Spend a little time there. Right? Shadeen talked about breathing. Where is the best oxygen? Around plants. Buy yourself some flowers. I mean, or gonna steal some I don't know your life. Your goals don't get caught. But just nature in general, I think is so healing. It allows you to just take that second to get those breaths in. Also touch them. If we're talking about sensations, when's the last time you just touched some flower petals, don't pull them. Just touch them. That might be just like a little like, Oh, I didn't even know Hold on. Touch them with different fingers. Touch it on your body. Make sure it's not you know, anything poisonous if you can, but like, even using the outside sources, again, free sit on the grass. If you're not allergic. Right, just be in it. And like I said, giving yourself that permission and take the pressure off. We're gonna switch our p's, because we give ourselves enough pressure every day. Just Oh God, I didn't get that done. Well, my new motto was tomorrow exists. Tomorrow exists. If it don't get done, tomorrow exists. Do we all have deadlines? Yes. But also, we're still in a panorama. Another P word for y'all. It's still happening. Right? Like giving yourself permission to just exist. Touch a plant, let a plant touch you. Breathe. Yeah, I love just being in nature, which I didn't grow up with that right. Little black girl. They were like stay in the house, you might be allergic, you might be allergic to the sun like what? No, I'm not. But just getting a little bit of that and giving yourself permission to let it happen. The way that it needs to, like this experience needs to be this. Or it could just be whatever it is.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Love that love that. I love this permission to go outside. I think we often forget how much of a healing resource nature can be. How we are animals, you know, and like, as animals, we are meant to be outside we are meant to have the sun kissing our faces, we were meant to have the wind blowing through our hair like that is a part of, of living. And yeah, I love taking walks where I am just like touching things and smelling flowers and petting little puppies along the way like that, for me helps me to ground deeper into my body. So thank you so much for that. Brianne, let's close it out with you. What is a practice that helps you connect to your body?
Brianne Patrice
I'm a writer, foremost and always. So journaling will always be like my go to practice. And so I offer that to everybody that is definitely somewhere for you to start and just figuring out what your current relationship is to your body. See your senses what you want your goal to be asking one of one of the few of the journaling prompts I usually ask my clients are like, what are your first memories of you being in your pleasure? Who taught you what it meant to be pleasurable? Like, what experiences did you have when you were a child and I can go back to my grandmother and how she was just this super Southern, short lady with sandy have blonde hair and did not drive. And was a hairstylist and every Monday in in the summertime was our girl time. Me her and my sisters and we'd get on the bus and she take us downtown. And sometimes that just meant walking around downtown. And other times they meant her spoiling us and taking us to a movie and taking us to a dinner and now that I'm older those traditions have continued to me taking myself to dinner and a movie. But speaking of free things because I'm also with Jim and we love free. We all got bills to pay and on a budget so let's be real. Um, but one of one of the one of my favorite ways is taking photos of myself taking photos of just random things outside. I very much love to document and the photos don't have to leave my phone they don't have to go anywhere. I have like 10,000 photos on my phone and I probably have like 40 photos on my Instagram right now. So it's really just figuring out what works for you.
In this entire conversation what really came up is Audre Lorde's essay Uses of the Erotic and we're really just talking about erotic power here and how that allows us to transform our right to joy, our right to money, our right to freedom, our right to sex, because I'm with you Shadeen not on having bad sex. And listen, nobody was put here for mediocre sex, we don't have the time for that. So let's just not do it. But, and I'm gonna paraphrase her because I can't remember it exactly what she said. But she said that the erotic is-- and y'all can jump in because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fuck it up. But um, "the erotic is not what you're doing, but how you feel when in the act of doing" I think that's what she said. So it's for me, my erotic is really I love working out. I love working out. It's not always to lose weight. I just love working out because that's how I can really spend time and have conversations with myself. And working out does not have to mean going to the gym, I love a walk, I love a good walk, I love the feel of my feet hitting the pavement on a two to three mile run. That is powerful for me. That is sensual for me. And it really doesn't have to when we're thinking about, you know, sensual practices, it doesn't have to be overly complicated. What are you doing in your life right now that is bringing you pleasure that is bringing you joy, and how can you do it more? That's what it really boils down to is how can you have more of these moments? How can you create more of these moments? How can you ritualize it? How can you allow it to become of your every day so that you are just fully aware of what it means to be in your pleasure, instead of allowing somebody else tell you what it means to be in your pleasure?
Ev'Yan Whitney
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I love this. I love that you all have given us so many different kinds of practices for us to connect to ourselves. Let's go ahead and answer some of the questions. How do you negotiate sensual sex with a partner who is perhaps unfamiliar with their own sensuality? Are their practices that you can implement together? I love this question.
Shadeen Francis
Yeah, I think that there is something really beautiful about an invitation. Particularly around sensuality, or this this awareness of, of, you know, your self as a sensual being. I think for a lot of us, most of us, we probably spent a lot of our lives not knowing we could tune in this way. But then also, as we discover it, then we're working on giving ourselves ongoing permission. And so think of how big of an opening or shifted that can be also, if we take the permission that we've begun to practice for ourselves, and offer it to others. And so what that can look like is maybe some modeling. So maybe you name out loud, some of the ways in which you are being intentional around your sensory attention to your body as Ev'Yan you named as our way as a way of thinking about sensuality. Sometimes that can be around checking in. Right? So it feels really good to me, for example, when folks ask me like how things feel or how things are feeling. And my people are Caribbean, so I'll talk I mean, I'll probably do this anyways, because food is also one of my favorite asks. But that I'm the sort of person who will make something for you and like watch you eat it. Right and I want to check in like at like, you know out does that taste how you're experiencing that like what, what does that feel like? And so to think about that in our in our exchanges, right that that can be around sex, right checking in, like, how does that feel? How do you want to feel? Where are you feeling that? It can be around the ways we move through nature and pointing things out and noticing or inviting people into savoring and slowing down a moment. It can be around touch. Right. And even just these layers of just exploration, and not needing to make it sort of big or dramatic, and be just an invitation to notice what different kinds of touch and pressure feels like. It can be around smells. So being able to, you know, offer opportunities that don't have to be super cerebral or super planned out, right, but just little moments to take, again, the pressure off of all of us to perform some level like this is what being a sensual being is like, right. Just making small moments of permission or small expressions, you know, small ways of modeling. And that way, it opens it up to not just partners, this can be to friends, this can be to coworkers. I mean, for anyone who has like kids and small people in your life, right? Even just naming the ways that you practice sensuality is so permission giving to the people in your life who are looking at you and watching you and maybe looking up to you. So I would love to offer that as my answer.
Ev'Yan Whitney
Thank you. Thank you so much. For our last question. This one says, What if the trauma that I'm experiencing is ongoing? I am physically disabled and have multiple chronic illnesses and I'm in pretty much constant pain. How do I work with and around that to be able to enjoy my senses, instead of them being something to be afraid of?
I have something for this. And I would if there's anyone else that has other feedback, I would love to hear. But the one thing that I think about a lot when it comes to sensuality. And this is something that I've said today a couple of times. And I think some of us have also said today, that sometimes being in our physical bodies can be really difficult, you know, I don't want to make any illusions that sensuality is always going to feel like butterflies, rainbows and chocolate covered strawberries, like sometimes in order to stop, pause and listen to yourself you're going to be confronted with some of the undesirable things, feelings, experiences and sensations that you're having. And so for anyone who is dealing with chronic illness, or just has that experience of like, I don't know, if it's possible for me to feel into my body because my anxious brain kicks in, or I start to get really critical about my body or I feel this voice of pressure. And then for this this question in particular, the one thing that I'd like to offer is that, you know, we are not-- it's very, very rare that we are experiencing one thing at one time. Like our bodies are constantly experiencing multiple things, multiple sensations. And so my offering for this is, is it possible for you to hold the chronic pain that you're experiencing in one hand, while also holding in the other that there are parts of your body that aren't in pain? Like, can you feel into like, Yes, I'm experiencing pain in this area of my body, but I am also experiencing relief, or release, or relaxation, or even joy in my body. Maybe that is only in your pinky finger. Like maybe you can only identify one small quadrant of your body that is experiencing the opposite of pain, or maybe even just neutrality.
You know, I think we talk a lot about body positivity. And I feel like that's a little played out, like I want for us to just like feel neutral about our bodies that we don't have to fucking love them. But we are allowed to just be like, this is a body part. I have that as a body part. Cool. So is it possible for you to get curious about the other spaces in your body and in your experiences that aren't experiencing that pain? And again, you might have to look elsewhere. You know, maybe it's not in your physical body. Maybe you can locate something in your emotional body. You know, maybe there's a part of your emotions, it's like, Yes, I might be experiencing this pain in my body, but I can pinpoint a little bit of quiet joy just a little bit. Maybe it's not maybe the word isn't joy, maybe it's something else. Maybe it's ease, maybe it's relaxation, but just seeing if you can find one part of yourself one part of your body or your experience that is happening at the same time. And this is going to take practice. You know, I think we live in a culture that is very binary. And so with that comes like if I'm experiencing pain, it's either this or it's that um, what does it look like to hold to both and of your experience and also to seek pleasure neutrality, ease, softness, relaxation in other parts of your body. And see if that works for you.
Jimanekia Eborn
I think there's that as someone that also struggles with chronic pain mom if I just stay in pain. And I understand that there's always the need of like, again, like, what is the feel like having to be like, well, I need to do this thing, like giving yourself that permission. Like Ev'Yan said, I was like this little pinky, the smallest thing. Like, it doesn't have to be this big, grandeur situation, because sometimes the things that we need are really small. And I think even given us in our favorite word today is permission is giving ourselves permission to understand that everything comes and ebbs and flows. Right. So maybe for you, you have a certain time of the day where the pain isn't as severe. Or maybe sitting in a hot bath is where you get to like, your body's like, finally, I get like a little bit of relaxation. So all of what Ev'Yan said just adding, like giving yourself permission to know that everything is ebbs and flows. And that the worst of it won't be the worst of it in the next five seconds. Right? Like I'm not taking away from your pain because I tendinitis, tendinitis, back, neck titties, whatever, right? These are my journeys. But understanding that there are small joys, like Ev'Yan said, and it's, again, I'm taking it back to our pinky toe, maybe it's, that's where you found it, giving yourself permission to explore where that is, and lean into it. Because we can make a list of shitty things or where our bodies want to fight against us. But what about those little pockets, like navigating that and sitting with it? Again, I just got back from the Vipassana. And that's where I had to learn that literally sitting with my body and doing intense body scans. Maybe my invitation for you is maybe doing a body scan for yourself. Like literally just giving yourself again, we're sitting down, just focusing on these different areas of where the pain is. Because it's ebbs and flows. Yes, you were in pain in this second. What about the next one? And then what about after that? That's just what I wanted to add. But that was magical.
Shadeen Francis
Yeah, first of all, I also want to say yes, to everything that that was said, and I will add as a fellow chronic pain person, maybe we're a chronic pain camp here. You know that, for me to be able to do some of that it was helpful for me to start to think of my body as like a collection of systems, you know, so that I had other places to look. And so I'll share the ones that like were useful for me. And for the person who asked this question, maybe they can find whichever ones are useful for them. So I started to think of my body as an intersection between sort of this, my spiritual self, so the parts of me that are connected to purpose and meaning and sort of higher power. Thinking of myself as like an aesthetic body, so things that are connected to beauty and nature, things that are organic, and living and breathing, and just sort of inherently beautiful, whatever that word means for me. Thinking of myself as a social being, so someone who feels connections to other people, places and things. Thinking of myself as an intellectual body. So someone that learns and grows and has ideas and curiosities. Thinking of myself as an emotional body. So I have emotional experiences and affective experiences of the world. Thinking of myself as a sexual body, someone who takes pleasure in my sensory experiences and connections to self and others. And then thinking of myself as like a recreational body. So a body that you know, rests and plays, and makes time for like leisure. And so while those aren't like formal definitions, for me to be able, it was helpful for me to be able to separate those because I have chronic pain and pain that flares and so those were really distracting and disruptive and would interrupt parts of my life. And so for me to be able to experience myself in layers and nuances helped me find some more sensual opportunities that felt expansive and in that helped me come to a place where despite pain, or you know, discomfort or flares, that I have been working on not seeing my body as against me. And that was really helpful for my sensual experience. It was really hard for me to be in a sensual relationship to myself, when I felt like my body was betraying me, or my body was attacking me or my body was broken in some way. And so for me to build a relationship that acknowledged that there was still movement and life and pleasure and possibility, even amidst the pain and for me build a certain relationship with the pain that it can either sometimes be a part of me and remind me that I am alive and experiencing my body, or sometimes not a part of me. And just like a cloud that is passing in the day. Give me a little bit more opportunity to feel and not feel and not not be so I mean, afraid and disappointed by the experience of feeling. So I don't know if if that ends up being helpful to anyone in their own journeys, but wanting to offer what that has looked like for me and the invitation that I have made for clients who are trying to find new relationships with their bodies amidst pain.
Ev'Yan Whitney
I want to thank each and every one of you, my lovely panelists, I am so inspired by each of you and the ways that you've shared today and the ways that you continue to show up for all of us to help us feel ourselves. Thank you all for rocking with us. I know we went over, but there's so much beauty and so much goodness that was here today, and I appreciate everyone for tuning in. For being a part of this and for creating the space for all of us. I hope that you all have a really great rest of your day. Do something sensual for yourself.
. . .
Sensual Self is created and hosted by me, Ev'Yan Whitney. It is edited by myself, and Tribble. Music is by Melodiesinfonie from his song ‘Just Healing’.
For show notes, transcripts, and resources for your sensuality, go to evyanwhitney.com/podcast. You can also follow the show on Instagram @sensual.self.
I'm on Instagram @EvYanWhitney, and you can check out evyanwhitney.com to find out more about me and my work. Also, check out my book, Sensual Self: Prompts and Practices For Getting In Touch With Your Body. You can find that wherever you find books.
Thank you so much for being here. And I'll see you in the next one.