Episode 53: Hello, Sensual Self! Hello, My New Book!
It's finally here! In this one, Ev'Yan talks about why she created Sensual Self—both this "new" podcast and the book that inspired it.
Sensual Self is now available for preorder! Click here to reserve your copy.
Transcript of this episode is below.
Transcription:
Welcome to Sensual Self. I’m Ev’Yan Whitney and this is a space for you to slow down, tune in, heal + feel the sensations and pleasures of your sensual body. Thank you for being here.
. . .
My friends, my blessed fam, I am so happy to be here with you right now. It’s been way too long and I have A LOT I want to share with you. But first, let’s take a moment to orient ourselves, to take in this new space and these new vibes because as you can see, things are looking and sounding a little different around here.
So hi, welcome to my new podcast, Sensual Self (LOL). It’s actually not new-new, it’s more like “just the same but brand new” as my favorite St. Vincent song goes. And yea, here we are!
So what is Sensual Self, what is this podcast all about? Well let me first start off by giving some context to this change. If you’ve been following me for awhile or if maybe you’ve come to this particular episode after binge-listening to older episodes, you know that this podcast used to be called The Sexually Liberated Woman. And to be perfectly honest with you, in the 6+ years that I’ve been doing this podcast, I never really loved the name.
Actually, the fact that I even ended up having a podcast was a happy accident because The Sexually Liberated Woman was originally meant to be a one-off audio series hosted on my blog where I spoke with previous clients of mine about their sexual healing and liberation journeys. The intention was to be open and honest about how challenging and beautiful this process of healing our sexualities can be, and I called that series The Sexually Liberated Woman because that was who I was talking to at the time, that’s what the series was focused on. And because it was audio in nature, people kept referring to it as a podcast.
And not just that, I didn’t realize this until pretty recently, like, a couple years ago maybe, that when people landed on my podcast without knowing that backstory, they assumed that *I* was the Sexually Liberated Woman, that I was positioning myself as the end all, be all of sexual liberation. Which wasn’t the intention at all. I was speaking about and highlighting the sexually liberated woman as a kind of archetype that I think all of us embody the traits of in some capacity, not at all saying that I was THEE sexually liberated woman.
In any case, what I’m trying to say is that, as you can see, The Sexually Liberated Woman as a podcast wasn’t created with a lot of intentionality. There was intention as it got going, obviously, but a lot of how it came to be was accidental and eventually it got so popular that it took on a life of its own, almost like a runaway train that I, after those first few episodes, decided to jump on and be like, “Yea, okay, this is fine I guess.”
But that’s not the only reason for this change. I had been playing around with changing the name of this podcast for a couple of years because I was in the messy process of discovering that I was nonbinary and the title (and specifically the fact that ‘woman’ was the main focal point of the title) didn’t resonate with me. And so it’s with a lot of excitement that I am here with you today, embodying this “just the same but brand new” work in a way that resonates with me and also really really excites me. Sensual Self suits me so much better both because of where I’m at currently with my sexual liberation journey and because of where I feel like I’m being drawn to in my work—I’ve been getting really into somatics and breathwork and trauma resolution and what it looks like to liberate our sexuality through the body first.
But anyway, back to that question—“What is Sensual Self?” Sensual Self is an invitation to come home to your sensual body, to explore the nuances of your pleasure. Sensual Self is an intention to slow your pace and create space for your body, to heal and feel into its sensations, to bring awareness and mindfulness to the language that it’s always speaking to you.
Sensual Self is about sensuality. It’s about sexuality too. I think one of the things that’s come up for me as I’ve been stepping into this new chapter of my work is that, while I’ve stared into the existential abyss and contemplated what I actually want to be doing with my life, I really really love what I do. I love talking about sex and sexuality, I love being nourished by stories of others who are in pursuit of their sexual freedom and in search of liberated expressions of their various erotic identities. And I don’t want to change that, I don’t want that to fall by the wayside.
So in some ways, this podcast will be picking up where The Sexually Liberated Woman left off and it will also open up new space and new possibility for deeper conversations that we’ve yet to have. I am so excited. So so excited.
Let’s see. . . what else do I want to say about Sensual Self?
Oh yeah. Sensual Self is also the title of my new book, which is finally available for pre-order today. Like, right now, and I totally wouldn’t judge you if you stopped this podcast to click the link in my description to buy your copy.
Y’all, when I tell you I am so excited that I can finally talk about this book’s existence! I have been working on this book officially since around September of 2019 and it’s been so hard to not be able to tell you about it. I’ve been dying to talk about this book so bad and now I can! With you right here! So let’s talk about it!
The official title of my book is Sensual Self: Prompts and Practices for Getting in Touch With Your Body. It is a guided journal that I wrote with the intention to help you to reconnect to your pleasure and come home to your sensual body with questions and practices that will help you discover yourself and access parts of yourself that crave your attention and intention.
Sensual Self is an invitation for you to uncover what your innate sensuality is; not anybody’s else’s, your sensuality—uncovered day by day, prompt by prompt. The way I’ve been thinking about this journal is that it’s not your typical journal, it’s a method, a practice, an intentional ritual, that helps sort of coax out your sensual self with play, curiosity, self-spaceholding, and self-reflection.
I wanted to write this book because I’ve noticed in the 10+ years that I’ve been doing this work of sex education that one the of the major things that is keeping a lot of us disconnected from our sexuality is the fact that we are often very disconnected from our bodies. One of the first questions that I’ll ask a client when we’re beginning work together is “What relationship do you have with your body currently?” And not from a “body-posi” perspective, more so from a day-to-day experience—like, what is it like to be in your body? Do you feel present enough to be able to experience its sensations, pleasant or unpleasant? And what is your relationship to pleasure like when it comes to your body? Usually, that question is answered with, “I don’t know, I don’t think I really have a relationship with my body”—which is sad but is really quite common. So many of us are trying to get to this place of bliss and orgasmic pleasure in our sex lives, but we aren’t even fully in the bodies that we’re having that sex with.
And what I’ve found is that with this work of sexual liberation and healing, and also with this work of personal wellness and self-care, that foundational piece of body awareness, of body mindfulness, of pleasure connection, needs to be really solid in order to access all the other juicy sensations we want to experience. Because how can we have incredible sex if we’re dissociated from our bodies? How can we feel confident in our sexual expressions if we’ve been routinely told that our pleasure is not ours to claim? How can get to a place of feeling well and good if we’re in our heads so much that we forget we even have a body?
Wellness, pleasure, orgasms—they all happen through our bodies, not our minds. And I believe that the practice of sensuality is one of the best ways we can intentionally connect with ourselves so that pleasure and joy can flow through us with more ease.
And maybe now you’re feeling into why I decided to name this podcast Sensual Self as well.
It was really important to me that a book about sensuality wasn’t just going to involve you just sitting down and reading about it. I wanted you to be able to experience and explore and embody sensuality through the actual physical practice of it—through arousing your senses, through feeling into the softness of your belly, through using your breath to come back to the present moment, through checking into your emotional body and seeing what its turbulence is trying to tell you. Sensuality is not something that can be intellectualized, it’s something that is meant be experienced through and with the body.
Speaking of, sensuality, as a word, as a concept, is widely misunderstood. I think a lot of us understand this idea of “being sensual” only through a lens of performance, as something that you do for someone else’s gaze or pleasure, as something that can be consumed and used for somebody else’s inspiration. And I don’t think that that’s untrue, I just believe that sensuality is so much more than that and so much of the magic of sensuality has been flattened by that one view of it.
Actually, I’d love it if I could just read to you from my book about how I see sensuality.
“Sensuality is the process of being connected to your body, your senses, and what makes you feel good. It’s about seeking out pleasurable moments, and when that pleasure is found, inviting your whole body to savor it. More than anything, sensuality is about being present with your physical body and aware of how it interacts with the world. One of my favorite ways to think of sensuality is as the practice of paying attention with your senses. You don’t need to be taught how to be sensual; sensuality is inherently within you and you can access it at any time. You just need to reclaim it as yours—which is what this journal will help you do, step by step.”
Ahhh it’s so surreal to like, be holding my book in my hands and to be reading this aloud to you.
OK, anyway!
Sensuality is not about doing, it’s about being. And with the prompts and practices in my book, Sensual Self, my hope is that you’ll be able to not just define what sensuality is but experience it through your body in ways that make you feel good and safe and whole. Because once you are fully connected to your sensuality, once you understand how your sensual body speaks to you and experiences pleasure, all the other things—the sex that you have, the relationships you’re in, even the way that you take care of yourself—fall into place.
My book, Sensual Self, will help you slow down, it will help you tune in, it will help you create connections to your body and your emotions and the experiences that you find yourself in in a deeper way. Sensual Self will help you create a practice of listening to yourself and trusting your own intuition. Sensual Self will help you get clear about what you desire and what makes you feel good. And this might be a big statement to make, but I’ll just say it, by the end of the book, Sensual Self will help you to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you are indeed a sensual being.
I also just want to add, because this is an important piece, that I infused sensuality into every aspect of this book, from the way it looks aesthetically to the way it feels in your hands. So as you’re working through the journal your eyes will enjoy feasting upon the beautiful imagery that was created by the Sacree Fragine. There are beautiful quotes and colors, and there’s really something special about holding a book in your hands, especially that experience of writing in a journal with your favorite pen and seeing your own handwriting flow and morph on the pages, and feeling the textures of the page as you turn it. That experience in and of itself is quite sensual, and so I wanted the way that you engaged with this book to be sensual as well.
I wish I could describe to you with words how special this moment is for me. To have written my first book, to have it published and supported by a team of people who absolutely believe in me and the work that I do. To have a physical book at all, because so much of my career has been online and like, I’ve made a lot of offerings, I’ve done a lot of cool things, but they have always lived in the digital space. So to have this book, this physical manifestation of my life’s work, to be able to hold it in my hands and know that you’ll be able to hold it in yours—I’m just overwhelmed.
So, that’s my book! And if you’re intrigued, it is now available for pre-order. You can go to evyanwhitney.com/sensualself to snag a copy. It will officially be out in stores on December 7th.
And before I go, I wanted to leave you with a practice you can engage in between now and when we meet again. This’ll be something I do in every episode, sharing with you a practice or a question that you can take with you to help you embody your pleasure, connect to your body, and delight your senses. And what I’m going to share with you today is one of the prompts from my book. If you’re in the process of driving or walking, maybe pull over or just come back to this when you’re not on the move to try this practice.
Okay—
Wherever you are, place a hand on your chest, and without changing your current breathing pattern, notice: what is the current state of your breathing? What do you notice about your breaths? Are they shallow? Do they live in your chest or do they come your belly? Maybe you’re subconsciously holding your breath. No judgment here, we’re just taking a moment to notice and be curious.
Now that you’ve brought some awareness to your breathing, I invite you to take an intentional, slow inhale of your breath for a count of five, breathing from your low belly, and exhale for a count of five. Repeat this two more times at your own pace.
Now, check in again. Did anything shift? Do you feel any different?
There’s no wrong answers with this one and it’s okay if you didn’t notice a shift. This is just about taking a small moment to tune in to the body and breathe; that’s it. Intentional breathing is one of the simplest ways to come back into the body; breath is actually something we’ll be exploring with one of my guests in the coming weeks. In the meantime, I encourage you to play with this intentional breath and check-in practice to bring more connection to your sensual self.
Okay y’all, that’s what I have for you today. Thank you for being with me as we embark on this new journey together. I’m really honored to share this space with you.
. . .
Sensual Self is created and hosted by me, Ev’Yan Whitney. It is edited and produced by Tribble. Music is by Melodiesinfonie from his song called ‘Just Healing.’
For everything you want to know about this podcast—including previous episodes, show notes, transcripts, and resources—go to evyanwhitney.com/podcast. You can also follow the show on Instagram @sensual.self.
If you have a moment, I would love it if you rated and reviewed this podcast. It helps others find the show and as a result, it helps them uncover their sensual self.
As for me, I’m on Instagram at @evyan.whitney, and if you want to know more about me and my work go to evyanwhitney.com.
And please check out my book Sensual Self: Prompts and Practices For Getting in Touch With Your Sensual Body. To preorder, go to evyanwhitney.com/sensualself
Thanks for being here and for creating this space for yourself. I’ll see you in the next one.