I absolutely love getting myself off with my hands. I love feeling the subtle and succulent nuances of my own arousal, dictating the direction of my turn-on with my fingertips by going fast or slow, harder or softer. Pausing, playing, pulsating.
There's just nothing like an organic, self-prompted, incredibly juicy, hands-on orgasm. No vibrator can match it, no sex toy can unearth its depths.
Or so I thought.
It's been a few years since I've weened myself off of my vibrator, breaking up a dysfunctional relationship which left me feeling orgasmically codependent rather than orgasmically liberated. And since that separation, I've explored and experimented with vibrating-free, non-battery-operated ways of giving myself sexual pleasure.
The most readily available and obvious modality for this has always been my fingers. And then I discovered shiva lingams, which a good friend of mine turned me on to, telling me that they were the only sex toy she ever used. So I bought one for myself.
One of the things that I love(d) about my shiva lingam—aside from its amazing healing properties—is that it allowed me to explore pleasureful penetration, something that I'd never done with a sex toy before.
I'd always been turned off by the idea of inserting a foreign, plastic, chemically-filled device in my body; even more so when I was reminded that the vagina absorbs anything and everything that's put into it.
With my shiva lingam, and particularly because of its smaller size (it can fit comfortably in the palm of my hand), I was able to finally play with penetration (albeit, shallow) without fear of pain or the ickiness of harmful manmade materials in my body.
Fast forward a year or so later. I'm in a small, private Facebook group where sexual healers and enthusiasts gather to collaborate and share their work. I get a notification that someone had recently chimed in to the group—I believe it was from Rashida KhanBey.
The message read something like. . . OMG LADIES! have y'all seen this??? they're crystal dildos! I think I want one!!!
Inside the thread was a link attached to Chakrubs.com. A few of the women commented and expressed the same intrigue, spurring my own. So I click over, and bought one as a gift to myself shortly after.
My solo-sexplay has never been the same.
Chakrubs is an indie biz that sells sex toys made from 100% pure, 100% natural crystal.
They look like sacred sex wands that only a Goddess would wield—stunningly gorgeous, incredibly powerful, a mix of delicate and earthy. Perfect for your altar and sexplay.
Crystals themselves are a potent earth-made material, one that helps to awaken higher levels of consciousness, provoke transformation, work through emotional imbalances, and heal deep core wounding. Take all of that and put it in sex toy form, and you've got a mighty healing and orgasmic tool.
Chakrubs can help to. . .
And it's true.
From the the first time I used my crystal dildo, I could feel an incredible shift in my body, as if I had been cracked wide open to experience and receive a deeper kind of pleasure than I'd ever had with any toy before—including my shiva lingam. And the orgasm was so intense, sending me on a kind of body-high, one that reverberated into my day-to-day.
One thing that vibrators never gave me was a full, unhindered connection to my sexuality. There was always a level of detachment, however small, that kept me from accessing the depths of my arousal. And then there was this sense that the pleasure was being done to me, not received intentionally, consciously.
With my Chakrub, I've always been beautifully aware that the exchange of pleasure I am giving and receiving has a very co-creative, self-loving aura to it, one that I don't zone out on, one that heightens my capacity to feel and get off.
The kind of sexplay I have with my Chakrub rivals the love I make with my partner: it's spiritual, intentional, wholly sensual.
I remember the excitement I felt when I received my rectangular box in the mail. And my excitement was surmounted by sheer joy at the thoughtful, love-filled message that inducted me into the Chakrub community:
"I love you for purchasing your Chakrub. . . . I love you for believing that your body is sacred and so your items should be as well. I love you for taking care of yourself. I love you because you have desires. I love you because you are brave to act on those desires."
Chakrub has me as a raving fan and loyal customer for life.
1. Cleanse it. Gentle soap and warm water will do. You can also do a sea salt and water bath, soaking your Chakrub for five minutes or so.
2. Sync it with your body. After cleansing, spend some time with your crystal by putting it close to or on your body. On the night that I got mine, I set the Chakrub right on my heart chakra (chest) while I was laying flat reading a book in bed. Then. . . I moved it to my sacral chakra (right below my belly button) for a little while. When it was time for sleep, I then moved my Chakrub under my pillow, sleeping with it all night.
Working with crystals is a very intimate and personal, and because they are so sensitive to energies, it's important that your Chakrub's energy always has a home in / with you.
3. Play with it. . . but, warm it to your body first! Chakrubs, when not in use, are pretty cold to the touch. Not incredibly inviting when you're rearing and ready to go. A trick I've learned is to not play with the Chakrub right away, but instead to allow it to warm to my body first. I do this by simply putting it on my body (like resting against my leg, for instance, or holding it in my free hand) while I'm turning myself on by watching porn or using my fingers to get the juices flowing.
By the time my yoni is begging to be penetrated, the Chakrub is warm and practically buzzing with energy; charged and ready to play.
4. After play, cleanse again, then keep in a safe place. I store mine in the little bag that comes with the Chakrub and keep it in my bedside cabinet.
5. Don't let anyone come into contact with your Chakrub unless sacredly ordained. My crystal dildo is quite the topic of discussion amongst me and my girlfriends. I start gushing about its amazingness and naturally, they want to see it. So I bring it out, let them coo and ahhh!, but I don't allow anyone to touch it. Not even my partner. Not just because for hygienic purposes, but because my Chakrub is intricately attuned to my body.
Again, crystals are alive and they have the ability to absorb other people's energies. So use caution when sharing the love, and make sure to always cleanse afterward!
6. Charge it with the full moon. This is another form of cleansing, but more of an energetic one. Think of charging your Chakrub in the full moonlight as a kind of retuning, like you'd do every so often with a piano guitar. The moon holds within it incredibly potent and healing and activating energy, perfect for your Chakrub to absorb. On the night of a full moon, put your crystal on a windowsill that faces the moon's light & keep it there while you sleep. Crystals love moonbaths!
7. You don't have to use it for just sexplay! I've found that just sleeping with my Chakrub underneath my pillow when I'm in need of some self-care is enough to help balance my emotions and relax my body. I sometimes meditate with it, too, sitting on top of it (like a chicken were to sit on an egg) and doing some deep, conscious breathing. That in and of itself is energy shifting.
Now that I've gushed and gushed, I'm pretty sure you're wanting your own crystal dildo all to yourself.
Vanessa Cuccia, the illustrious creator of Chakrubs, has very kindly offered all Sex Love Liberation readers with a 10% discount off every Chakrub purchase!
Just go to Chakrubs.com, select your crystal (my favorite is The Original Heart, but I'm biased), and enter the code "LIBERATION" at checkout.
As for shiva lingams, you can go to any gem store or place that sells crystals to find them. Check to see if you can purchase one at your local New Age bookstore first before buying online.
© 2020 Ev'Yan Whitney / All rights reserved.