"We Are Meant to Do More Than Just Survive": My Black Pleasure Matters

Posted on July 2018  in 

Photo: Tumblr (please contact if you know the artist)

We are meant for more than fighting racism and anti-blackness. We are meant for more than surviving and being on the defensive. We are meant for more than feeling anger and sadness.

We deserve to thrive. We deserve to live lives that center our joy and include our pleasure. And we can use our erotic joy and pleasure as an act of resistance.

To do that, we must find a way to prioritize our pleasure.

These were some of the things I'm saying to myself after my recent conversation with Dalychia and Rafaella, the empresses behind Afrosexology. They do incredibly important and empowering work around educating, liberating, and healing black sexuality by centering black women and femme’s sexual pleasure.

"Because we're in a system that gives us anti-black messages on a daily basis, it is even more important for us to resist by centering our pleasuring."

As a black woman whose very existence is an act of resistance, as a black woman who is constantly underneath the weight of white supremacy and racism and misogynoir, as a black woman who struggles to feel like her life matters, this conversation was a balm on my spirit.

And if you’re someone who identified with any of that, it’ll be medicinal for you too.

Press play below to listen. (Or listen on Apple Podcasts.)

Click to download the transcript of this episode


  • What is missing from conversations about black sexuality
  • The importance of creating spaces for black women + femmes to feel joy and pleasure
  • R&B being used as a medium for black sexual empowerment and expression
  • A self-pleasure practice for weary, traumatized, microaggressed black women/femmes 
  • What white people can do to help black liberation
  • Things that are giving Dalychia and Rafaella erotic joy

You can find out more about Dalychia and Rafaella's work on their website and on Instagram. And also check out their solo sex workbook which is a devotional to self-love and self-discovery. 

The Sexually Liberated Woman is now on Patreon!

If I can get just 50 listeners to pledge $5.00 a month, it would help cover all the costs of operating the show—the hosting fees, paying my editor, and also for transcription services to help make The Sexually Liberated Woman more accessible.

So if you love this podcast, become a patron!

Or if you would like to make a one-time donation at an amount you choose, click here.

Thank you! I literally couldn't do this without you.


© 2020 Ev'Yan Whitney / All rights reserved.