Your lover can't read your mind. The waitress at your favorite cafe can't read your mind. Your dearest, most closest friend whom you've known since kindergarten can't, either.
None of these people can possibly know how you'd like to be touched, how you wish to be kissed, how you desire to be heard -- really & truly heard -- unless they've got telepathic powers. And they likely don't. So you must tell them.
You must ask for what you want.
If you want less talk & more action, ask for it
If you want more sugar in your coffee, ask for it.
If you want to role play in the bedroom, suggest it.
If you want to be fucked harder, lighter, longer. . . tell her.
If you want your masseuse to massage a specific kink, tell him.
If you want a raise, ask for it.
If you want the trash taken out, ask for it.
If you want him to call you sweetheart, request it.
I know it seems silly (& a little remedial) to reiterate such things, but sometimes we forget that we are powerful, persuasive, that we have the ability to choose the way in which our lives are played out.
And, too, we often think that we're not worthy of pleasure or worthy of an extra cube of sugar in our coffee; that if we were worthy, it would've automatically been bestowed upon us. So we see the lacking as a sign.
"Perhaps it's not meant to be. Perhaps this is just the way things are. Perhaps it's better this way."
You have a voice.
Use it to ask for what it is you want.
This is key to liberation; sexual or otherwise. When you ask for what it is you want (& need) you are taking ownership of your desires.
And there's another mantra worth remembering:
Take ownership of your desires!
Life's too short (& far too precious) to suffer through a ill-seasoned cup of coffee; or a love-making session where your arousal isn't present; or a relationship in which you're never truly listened to.
You deserve to have everything you desire. You deserve a life in which you lack nothing.
So, I'll say it one more time, for good measure:
Ask for what it is you want.
No one -- no one -- can read your pretty little mind.
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© 2020 Ev'Yan Whitney / All rights reserved.