Your grandmother. Your great-uncle. Your next door neighbor.
The homeless man sitting in a wheelchair. The girl with coke-bottle glasses that bags your groceries. The elderly woman with a cane that gives you a toothless grin as you're walking down the street.
It's likely that they are all sexual, just as you are likely sexual.
Sexuality is not a privilege or a gift presented to an exclusively selected mass of people. It is bestowed upon all us from the moment we are conceived & its essence is carried with us into the afterlife.
Many of us are born with sexual energy emanating throughout our organs, cells, & muscle tissue.
How (& if) we choose to manifest our sexual nature is as personal & unique as the color of our eyes.
As much as we'd all like to think that our sexualities can be housed within rigid labels, it's not as simple as that. The sexual energy that resides within us isn't specific, it just is what it is: erotically, carnally, instinctively sexual.
Sometimes you are born with an innately specific orientation. Sometimes you can choose. (And by "choose" I mean explore.)
I like to think that one can form the way they express their sexuality through delicate self-discovery, & that it can be a liberating experience to make such a decision.
To choose flexibility, to choose exploration, & to accept the sometimes flightiness of our sexual nature... this is your right. This exhibits exquisite centeredness & self-love.
It's important to know that the box we tick underneath the word "Orientation" doesn't have to be cemented for the rest of our lives. Just as we evolve, so do our sexualities & the preferences we have within them.
That is, if we allow room for growth & exploration (& I believe everyone should).
Not just within the act of sex (or intercourse) but in other things.
The art you create. The tone of your voice. The musical notes you pluck on your harp. The way your hair naturally curls. The rhythm of your heartbeat. The sound your belly makes when it's hungry. The manner of which you walk. The poetry in the words you speak.
These things contain sexual energy because you contain sexual energy.
You do not need to have sex to be a sexual being. You already are one, even as you are sitting here reading these words.
Perhaps you don't feel as sexual now when compared to when you are fully aroused. But trust me... your eroticism is there.
If you are in the throes of creation,your sexual energy is likely immersed in it in some way, no matter how small.
You can diminish it with negative thoughts. You can scare it away with religious dogmas. You can abstain from sexual pleasure for decades.
But you will never be without your sexuality. You can never stop being a sexual being.
Your carnality is always within you & it will always be a part of you. You would not be you without it.
Even if you know for certain that you're as straight as the proverbial arrow, examine the intricacies of your sexual nature.
What does it mean to you to be straight? Did you choose the orientation you identify with or were born with it? What do your sexual desires look like? What has the propensity to turn you on? In what ways do you express your erotic hunger? If you could give your sexual energy a color or shape, what would it be?
You could even take a gander at The Kinsey Scale.
Experiment. Stay curious. Ask questions. Your answers might surprise you.
Maintain a state of intrigue about your sexuality & all that it encompasses. Wander through the complexities of your sexual nature (because it is quite complex).
The expression of it. The definition of it. The way it makes you feel. All of these things, no matter what it looks like, is beautiful. It is yours & no one else's.
There's no need to compare your sexuality to the way it is expressed/cultivated by others. Just as there is no one identical human being on this planet, there is no one identical expression of sexuality.
There is also no preferred type or demonstration of sexuality. It can be as subtle, as broad, as passionate, as unrefined as you like it to be.
And that's just it. Be.
Go easy on yourself & the desires you do (& do not) have. Celebrate the uniqueness of your carnality, don't disregard it. Keep your heart open to the possibility of change & refinement.
Mind your sexuality. Honor it & keep it safe.
It is a precious life force.
© 2020 Ev'Yan Whitney / All rights reserved.